TARG Zine

FEBRUARY IS A COLD ONE BUT ISSUE #59 OF TARG ZINE IS HOT!

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INSIDE THE FEBRUARY ISSUE OF TARG ZINE: Everything you need to know about our annual FAMILY DAY AT THE ARCADE FreePlay Party. Classic TARG t’s are back in stock & the slogan on the back pays homage to a certain 80’s Cold War sci-fi film that ALL arcade nerds love. February can be a brutal month so we have THE TARG GUIDE TO STAYING WARM article to help you out. Checkout our WICKED SHOWS ALERT to pick your concerts for the month… so many to choose from. BERNIE is a Martial Arts Master? Not really but his review of the 1985 Konami game SHAO-LINS ROAD kicks butt. Valentines chuckles in Curtis’ Adventures of TARG & the Toys r Josh comix. Larry from Meow! Thats Hot Kitchen + Bar reviews some legendary wax by Ottawa pioneering punks PORCELAIN FOREHEAD. The “Geniuses” at LAMECO have come up with a new hidden vending machine game, gather round the RUNTS machine to plau BUNCH FUNKRZ - rules & a killer illustration by Jesse Germs of Otherside Tattoo in the pages of TARG Zine.  Sheila recaps all of the cool women she got to interview in 2018 for her SISTERS IN THE CITY column. Jazz guitarist & educator WAYNE EAGLES counts down 5 essential Live Jazz Fusion albums to help get you primed for his OUT THERE SOUNDS music series. Josh from the Mayfair summarizes the wild career of actor/writer Greg Sestero (The Room, The Disaster Artist) cause he is coming to visit Ottawa next month - details inside TARG Zine. If there is a question to be answered SLO’ TOM will oblige.. no matter how strange or unusual & believe you me there are a couple of doozies this month. The talented Jennilee doubles your fun with a dot2dot/pac man colouring page this month. Ottawa rock photographer Andrew Carver captures techno madman Sean pH Campbell in action for the February TARG Pin-Up & and of course everything you need to know about all of the fun events happening this month can be found in YOGI’s PEROGRAM. Grab your copy at the arcade or  DOWNLOAD THE PDF HERE

IN LEMMY WE TRUST! ISSUE #58 OF TARG ZINE

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The cover this month sports a cool illustration by DJ KJMAXX of Lemmy Kilmister (R.I.P.). Join us Sat Jan 25 for the 4th annual Lemmy RE RE RE-VISITED tribute concert all in support of The Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation.

INSIDE THE JAN ISSUE OF TARG ZINE: We have 2 new pins on location + a new Blackboard Beer Special for you to try… details in The TARG Jibber Jabber column. Consult our Wicked Shows Alert page to find out what events we are excited about this month. Super Bernie reviews our 1988 TAITO SUPERMAN video game… can queso & chips really give you super powers? CURTIS supplies one of his funniest/weirdest ADVENTURES OF TARG comics to date… and he has done 58 of ‘em! LARRY from Meow! That’s Hot reviews some wax by SCREAMING BAMBOO a local indie band from 1984 … be sure to visit Larry at his restaurant on 519 Bank St - they are always playing Canadian vinyl & the food rules! Darth Vader & his son face-off in the latest Toys R Josh comic. Get your fill of mildly amusing facts from our Beau-lieve It or Not column. We are trying to re-create the famous THE WHO/THE CLASH live at Shea Stadium 1982 concert this month - details in TARG Zine. For your viewing pleasure there is a 2 page spread featuring some of the most liked Instagram photos of 2018. Josh from The Mayfair Theatre reluctantly provides a best of movie list. SLO’ TOM has some excellent tactics to weasel out of your ill thought out New Years Resolutions. Jennilee gives us a Wonderfull illustration of Lemmy to colour in, this months TARG Pin-Ups are quite the Handsome Devils plus everything you need to know about everything happing at TARG this January can be found in YOGI’s perogram. Grab your FREE copy at the arcade or download the PDF.

NAUGHTY OR NICE - YOU STILL GET TARG ZINE ISSUE #57 FOR FREE THIS MONTH!

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INSIDE ISSUE #57 - info about the Coolest (and Cheapest) New Years Eve Party in town - strike it rich at The TARG NYE FANTASY CASINO. The Shoebox Project is back in action supporting women in local shelters by providing items needed to care for themselves - look for the JARS IN BARS donation jars on our bar and at other cool drinking holes around the city. Once upon a time, science history was made in Old Ottawa South - the discovery allowed human beings to be in 2 places at once…. a punk show was booked at Black Squirrel Books & Espresso Bar then, on the same night, another one gets booked at House of TARG. One neighbour asked the other if they’d prefer collaborating rather than competing, and so was born the BIG Side-by-Side GIG vol ii at TARG & Black Squirrel! December 14th! 7bands 2 venues. Details inside TARG zine. Finding the perfect gift can be a challenge - even more so if you don’t really like the recipient. If this predicament speaks to you, check out our “ABSOLUTELY NASTY, HORRIBLE & PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE GIFT IDEAS” for support. Our “WICKED SHOWS ALERT” column features some stand out shows for the month - try them on and see if any fit! Professor Bernie reviews Mortal Combat 2 plus there is a bonus cheat sheet for all the moves for BARAKA, SCORPION & RAIDEN - Merry Xmas! Larry from Meow! That’s Hot reviews some Ottawa wax from 2008. SISTERS IN THE CITY is Wizard Sheila’s column dedicated to interviews with local women who are making it happen in the Ottawa Arts, Business & Entertainment scene - this months interview is with photographer/music promoter Barbara Francisco. NEW GAME GAME ALERT - Guardians of The Galaxy Pinball is coming to TARG this month OH JOY - join us for an All Ages Welcome FREE to attend launch party on Thurs Dec 27. 80’s Dance Party dj & host Remi Royale share his thoughts on some of the most Totally Rad 80’s Xmas Toys of All Time, Curtis provides yet another side splitting and unusual Adventures of TARG comic, On Mon Dec 17 - the 30th anniversary screening of “the greatest Christmas film ever” at The Mayfair. Josh Stafford explains why this might be the last time you can view it - details in his ACROSS THE STREET article. SLO’ TOM takes a break from answering all of your question and instead focusses on some pro tips that will allow you to “enjoy” the Holiday Season to the max. Santa likes pinball too - true story, just check out Jennilee’s beauty illustration - that you can colour in. DJ DISCO DUCK is this months TARG Pin-Up - you can catch his booty shaking set at the PLANET BOOGIE: Yuletide Disco Dance party on Fri Dec 28. Also everything you need to know about the amazing shows happening at TARG this month in Yogi’s Perogram. Grab your free copy at the arcade or :

A Sense of Action, A Sense of Drama, A Sense of Humour: Issue #56 of TARG ZINE is here.

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INSIDE ISSUE #56: info about our next 80’s DANCE PARTY with Remi Royale, Tips on how to be the HERO of your office this season, did you know we have a secret menu? Details inside, We have a brilliant new vid game tucked in the back (too which the cover pays tribute) learn all aboot it and a wicked new pinball machine that is rumoured to make an appearance this month, Big brains & big slags in this months Toys R Josh comic strip, Curtis took a well deserved break this month so we re-printed one of his greatest hitz from The Adventures of TARG comic strip series, Big Bern gives us the lowdown on one of our newest games ROADBLASTERS. Our good friend SHAWN JAM HILL  is in the process of recovering from a serious accident and he is on our minds so we decided to profile all of the heavy bands he has been in between 1991 - 2013!!!! Larry from MEOW! That’s Hot Kitchen + Bar reviews some wicked wax from a local fave that will be performing at TARG this month. Tall Blue & Handsome - we have a new beer special on Thursdays - details inside the zine, Wizard Sheila interviews Melinda Massolas, a sound tech next door at Black Squirrel Books in her column SISTERS IN THE CITY, Wizard Mark has been sampling a lot of new brews, like a lot a lot - and all of his hard work has paid off as we welcome a new can from Kingston to the TARG beer fridge. If you have never had the side splitting pleasure of seeing a BUSTER KEATON film Nov Across The Street at the Mayfair is for you. 3 newly restored comedy masterpieces will be screened in all of their silent film glory, SLO’ TOM once again bestows keen knowledge & insight to improve the lives of our citizens one person at a time, thanks Tom. Jennilee has a colouring page for NEO GEO nuts or fans of slimy molluscs, The TARG Pin-UP captures an oldie but a goodie of BONNIE DOON in their natural habitat and of course everything you need to know about all the fun stuff going down at TARG this month can be found in YOGI’s Perogram. Get your free copy at the the arcade or DOWNLOAD IT HERE 

BOO! Issue #55 of TARG Zine is Ready For Your Eyeballs

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This months cover by comic artist Curtis Delaney features a hilarious illustration of the TARG machine dressed up as Jason for Halloween - ya laugh it up now cause his Adventures of TARG comic this month is kinda disturbing! 

INSIDE THE OCTOBER ISSUE OF TARG ZINE: Were you wondering what was going down at TARG this Halloween… well you’ll get yer answer right there on the 2nd page. On Wed Oct 17 we are hosting a FUNdraiser to help our pal Josh recoup some major loses associated with the cancellation of his annual Pinball & Gameroom Show. He had 150+ pins & games set and then the city lost power - details about the OPGS Strikes Back event inside TARG Zine. New brews in the fridge, New menu items, gaming anniversaries, new games coming - its all in the little gossip column we call TARG JIBBER JABBER. Curtis get weird (duh!) with another Adventures of TARG comic, Big Bernie shares some serious info about ARKANOID 2 in his video game super guide. Only children of the 70’s know the true Horror of Halloween… those crappy Ben Cooper plastic costumes they used to make us wear - read all about it YIKES! Larry from MEOW! THAT’S HOT supplies us with another Canadian record review - his credentials? - they exclusively play Canuck wax at their amazing 519 Bank st restaurant open till close! This month, Josh’s comic depicts his toys squabbling again… but this time they are Ninjas! Sheila interviews KIM MOSS of KAMP OPERATIONS in her SISTERS IN THE CITY column, The enigmatic ARDETH counts down her 5 fav Halloween candies, Josh from Across The Street tips us off to the best halloween movies of the month at The Mayfair, SLO’ TOM handles a host of reader submitted questions - ya people actual write in to Tom for advice, Jennilee has a spooky colouring page for us but I hope we don’t run out of orange (No it isn’t an illustration of TRUMP). Master photographer Petr Maur captures the beauty of one of Ottawa’s most handsome bands QUIET CRIMES in this months pin up - and of course everything you need to know about this months shows & events can be found in YOGI’s PEROGRAM. Grab your free copy at the arcade or download it here  

THE AUGUST ISSUE OF TARG ZINE ISN'T SELF AWARE & IT'S HERE

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According to the Terminator movies - AUGUST 1997 was a pretty hectic month for computers & robots… "The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.” Well it’s 2018 and we can assure you that issue #53 of TARG Zine posses not serious global threat other than stealing valuable time from those who choose to flip through its silly pages.

INSIDE THE AUGUST ISSUE OF TARG ZINE - Family FreePlay Super Summer Sundays continues in August details inside, There is a new brew in the TARG beer Fridge And a delicious new perogi on the menu - get in the know! Curtis is back with his 52nd Adventures of TARG comic … Incredible! This month in Big Bern’s Video Game Super Guide, TETRIS is discussed, SKYNET sure gave computers & robots a bad rap, but we can assure you there are some good electronic eggs out there - we introduce you to 4 of the best in our “We are the robots” article, Celebrate 40 years of DEVO on Sat Aug 26 with a Toronto punk/indie supergroup performing the first album in its entirety, Sunday FreePlay DJ & new dad KJMAXX has started a new clothing line for the freshest humans on earth - read all about it, Wizard Sheila found another inspirational local artist to interview for her SISTERS IN THE CITY column. There are a few new wizards you haven’t been formally introduced to yet - how rude - so meet MEKKI the Aug Wizard of the Month, there are 26 shows and events this month - so checkout the WICKED SHOWS ALERT page for some of our crucial picks, Josh Stafford from across the street gives us the heads up for the WINONA RYDER film fest happen all month at the Mayfair, Ottawa’s most gorgeous theatre, We were pretty sure SLO’ TOM was on vacation this month but nonetheless there appears to be some Quick Advice in the pages of TARG Zine, FELIX offers up a primer for the incredible Aug 18 punk/hardcore show by reviewing the latest release by BIB, Unfortunately TARG colouring page master, Jennilee just had too much on her plate this month to provide us with another wacky illustration so this month you will have to settle with colouring Metallica instead, Thankfully Andrew Carver is always in the front with his camera to archive the live music in Ottawa - he sure captured the intensity of a CROSS DOG performance in this month’s TARG PIN-UP and of course everything you need to know about all the shows and events happening at TARG this month can be found in YOGI’s Perogram. Grab you free copy at the arcade or download it here

THE JUNE TARG ZINE HAS INVADED!

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June 2018 rules - Space Invaders turns 40 & Beloved Targ regular BERNIE celebrates his 49th.    

INSIDE ISSUE #51 - we have a fun Summer Discount "Choose Your Own Adventure" coupon game on page 2 - pick your character: Foodie, Gamer or Music Fan. Each choice allows you to save $ on your next visit to TARG, Our mega fun Father’s Day Free-Play Brunch is back - deets inside - don’t disappoint Dad!, Ska Jeff celebrates all the great metal happening at TARG this month with a rundown of his top 5 Bay Area Thrash Albums, The bizarre Adventures of TARG continue & many are wondering if the surgical technicians were able to rebuild a smashed up TARG - read Curtis’ comix to find out how it all pans out. Our new Stern IRON MAIDEN Legacy of the Beast pinball machine is one tough customer but thankfully Monty’s Master Class will help you get acquainted and comfortable with the newest pin at TARG. The 1982 arcade classic MR. DO! can look pretty intimidating but don’t worry Professor Bernie lays down everything you need to know to get started with this fast paced game in his Video Game SuperGuide - look for Mr DO! on one of our 4 multi-cade cabinets. It’s Ottawa Explosion Weekend time again - Ottawa’s little punk/indie fest that has grown into a diverse multi venue extravaganza - Wizard Sheila interviewed Azarin So one of the festival co-founders for her awesome “Sister In The City” column which focuses on inspirational women in the Ottawa Arts, Business & Entertainment scene. Synth, Funk, Metal & Legendary Punk - so many amazing shows this June… our Wicked Shows Alerts page attempts to dog-ear some rad concerts you might want to investigate further - tons of tunes & vids for you to “Try before You Buy” over at www.houseoftarg.com, There is always some creative & inspiring film curating going on Across The Street at The Mayfair Theatre & Josh Stafford keeps us in the know with his column - be sure to check out the &$#?@ING SCORSESE/DE NIRO FILM FEST this month - #overflowingswearjar. The Toys R Josh comic is back this month and the stormtroopers learn some harsh lessons about living in Centretown. Hey It’s Bernard’s Birthday month so we thought it would be cool to reprint his AMAZING TOP 10 CHIPS article - so good, Quick Advice from Slo’ Tom = laughter + knowledge - power. Check out Gap Year Felix’s June record review - he has a knack for finding obscure underground gems… get in the know, Jennilee supplies yet another wild wizard illustration for you to colour - handy when you run out of conversation at TARG. Photographer Andrew Carver captures every member of Canada’s Best Metal band in 1 frame for the June Pin-Up - don’t miss Metalian’s 2 set performance Sat June 23, and everything you need to know this month’s fantastik shows & events can be found in Yogi’s Perogram. Grab your free copy at the arcade or download it here   

TARG YEAR FOUR ANNIVERSARY: ISSUE #49 of TARG Zine is out!

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INSIDE THE APRIL ISSUE: Holy Crap, we have a super over-the-top mega arcade party planned for our Year Four Anniversary on Tues April 17… deets inside, we have some new fancy bottles on our liquor shelf read all about ‘em if you dare go Beyond Beer, this month a bunch of pages are dedicated to looking back on an amazing year of shows - check out all the important TARG stats, bands who travelled the greatest distances, a list of every band who played & game we had, our most liked instagram photos plus a bunch of pics from photographer Andrew Carver’s fave TARG shows of Year Four. Weirdo Cartoonist Curtis was busy this month with a very special project so we reprinted a depressing comic he did for the 2015 anniversary issue of TARG Zine…so dark. Freaking Monty bestows some some pro #$@&%*! good tips for our new *bleep* Sopranos *bleep* Pinball #$@&%*! machine, Professor Berine gives you the straight goods on the Williams classic JOUST - which we now have at TARG BTW (it’s in the multicade cocktail cabinet next to the red tents). Wizard Sheila is back with another cool interview from her SISTERS IN THE CITY column - it focuses on inspirational women in the Ottawa Arts, Business & Entertainment Scene - so excited to have this new monthly feature in TARG Zine, Josh’s Across The Street article provides the backgrounder for THE GREAT SILENCE - a rare classic spaghetti western that will be screening at the MAYFAIR THEATRE this month. SLO’ TOM provides some spiritual & practical guidance for aging “musician”… god help their damned souls. Josh & his toys are back… Jason And Freddy go to McDonalds what could they possible be chatting about? The ultra busy & uber talented Jennilee still found time to give us a sweet little April showers inspired umbrella creature to colour PLUS she provided a wicked illustration for this months cover - so good! Aiden Thatcher’s camera captures DEATHSTICKS Live for this months TARG pin-up & of course everything you need to know about all the amazing shows/events taking place this month at TARG can be found in Yogi’s Perogram.

Gab your copy for free at the Arcade or DOWNLOAD IT HERE